Jaypaw's Diary -Spoof-
Sep. Sep. whatever number it is, Monday. so, my mom got me this diary. and she had to use crowpaw's squirt gun to wake me up. she said i was late for my first day of middle school. yeah right, i still have 24 hours. and today, robinpaw threw a book at crowpaw, and it hit him in the forehead. i got the first bowl of cat cruchies, yay. then crowpaw spit in it, the vile dung. so i smashed his guitar. crowpaw look behind you. robinpaw tried to break us up, but dad came home and she was distracted with a fake wand. what a nerd lol. anyways, mom keeps coming in and i swear she's been sneaking stuff from my room. me and emberpaw ended up making a deal to scavenge mom and dad's room for my miising things. emberpaw said she does it nightly. honestly, half the boys back in elementary were scared of her, heck, thats why i became her friend. now nobody messes with me. also, she got an award. most likely to get rabies. i got most likely to be a prank shop owner. i think they messed up. Sep. 2, Tuesday. first day of middle school, i'm SO excited. not. elementary was crap until i met emberpaw. bullies every corner, day after befriending emberpaw, bullies COWERED from me. it's amazing how she can change a life. anyways, mom squirt gunned me up, but with milk in it. so i dragged myself around, lazily sat around half the time, and was unaturally cold. then when i got on the bus, some idiot tripped me, so i turned to them and said "i know emberpaw" and then they said. "i know fangs." i'm like, and you got in middle school? jeez, some cats are just a little too much over teh deepside. like.. a mile over it. so, i just walked in, and emberpaw already got in trouble. she beat that cat who tripped me up, i just stared, jaw open, like "emberpaw what" so, i ended up front of the class, with friends around me. also, there was this she-cat named rosepaw, and she sits next to tigerpaw. she has these cool catola twistable crayons, and they are super cool. i wish i had them, and it's catola brand. the BEST coloring brand. but they stink. so, we have this project where we need to do an essay on the bloodclan war thing, and i hate it. not for blood and gore, but for firestar and scourge. me and this goth apprentice in the back of class were teamed up, and we decided not to even interact. this will be good. ok, so, art class is not my thing. but rosepaw is good at it, i don't even know how. and it's hard, cause we have to draw leafpool looking at herbs. next week it's cinderpelt. i hate art. so, nothing much happened at school for the rest of it, and uh. rosepaw wrote me a letter, i'll copy it here. Dear Jaypaw, (which is my name, if you didn't know) When I first laid eyes on you, my stomach was filled with butterflies, eyes shining with love, and i only have 1 question for you, my dear Jaypaw. Do you hold the same affection for me? Jaypaw, oh Jaypaw. How my life changed with you, and what an empty hole my heart would be without you. Jaypaw, do we hold the same spark for eachother, do we share our love forever, do we fly above worries, and make our own rainbow? p.s, i'll give you catolas. Love, and forever love, Rosepaw of house Huffle. wait, she knows harry pawter? i'm so telling robinpaw. tbc